2009: Fashion’s new low?

Lourdes Leon. Madonna's mini-me.

Fashion is so terrible right now. You know it’s bad when you go into a store and there is nothing, literally nothing, you want to buy. I know everyone thinks this shirt-as-dress and tights-as-pants thing is really hot, but it tends to look a little sloppy, and you can’t wear it to the office. Don’t be blinded by the cheap glare of that shiny gold belt. It may give you a waist, but you still look like you are in pajamas.

This Lazy Broad is too lazy to spend all of her time figuring out how to make a bunch of mediocre things look good together. Ostensibly, fashion is supposed to provide us with clothes that look good, and maybe allow us to express some individuality by wearing said clothes. But practically, it also needs to provide us with clothes we can actually wear, out of the house, in our normal daily routines, without a small mountain of effort. Clothes that can be worn often and laundered. Clothes that fit a normal body, with hips. Is this such a tall order? Are we asking for the entire ding dang world here?

Come on, designers of the world. Stop messing around and make some clothes for the people.

Kimberly Stewart. Fashion victim

Moral of the Story: Don’t be too Lazy to wear pants.

We here at Lazy Broad have noticed an alarming trend we find it necessary to address. The wearing of longish shirts as dresses, with nothing underneath, is a real cause for concern. About a month ago, I started noticing that girls were wearing long shirts or tunics just over tights. Not leggings, mind you, but tights – the kind that are show your undies when the light hits them. I recently had an unfortunate run in with such a specimen while picking up Mexican takeout. The girl’s outfit, otherwise, was pretty cute: shiny blue tunic shirt, black wedges. The problem was she wasn’t wearing any pants. She was wearing opaque black tights, and the shirt only came part way down her butt. Now, some may call this brave, but I call this old crazy lady. Old crazy lady who forgets where the cat food is and oh yeah to put on pants. After we left I said to my boyfriend, was that girl serious? But of course he hadn’t even noticed because that’s how boys are, they never remember outfits you want to make fun of later like a good girlfriend would. Anyway, now that the weather is turning warmer, this unfortunate fashion blunder is happening bare-legged. I saw a girl in the park today wearing what was clearly a shirt, over nothing. Just some little sandals. It was a blousy, flowy shirt, and over some skinny jeans, or even shorts, it would have been just fine. But over nothing, well, a high wind would have put that girl in a really bad way. And the thing is, you could tell she knew it. She looked remarkably uncomfortable. And so did everyone who looked at her, because they saw the inevitable coming. The thing is, Broads, no one actually wants to see your underwear on the street. It’s kind of gross. If your “dress” does not cover your butt when you completely bend over, give some thought as to whether or not it might be a “shirt”. We’re not saying you can’t wear really short dresses, like, ever. We’re just telling you it looks bad.